My name is Fredrivian. I am a scientists from the planet Frosties 100007829 from the Kellogs Galaxy.
Our society is, as in all cornflake colonies, a collective hub. We have no privacy or secrets and shun individualism of any kind. As a result, we have no individual dwellings and live in great numbers sticking close to one another. Seeing as we don’t require to eat or move, we live in multitudinous numbers varying in accordance to the world’s atmosphere. Though our atmosphere is transparent , or at least translucent, it’s boundary is solid in nature. We have ways to get by this if we so wished, but we don’t. Cornflakes do not naturally leave their planets, not only because they lack the desire to but also because the act is near impossible. Beyond the first atmospheric boundary, is another boundary. An impenetrable area merely referred to as “the casing.”
The cornflakes have lived a life of peace…until recently.
Lately, disturbing reports have been beamed to all worlds. Reports more shrouded in enigma than anything our race has ever encountered. The implications of these tales not only challenge the validity of the Big Corn Theory, but also threaten the entire races existence.
Alien forces have compromised several of our colonies easily ripping past both atmospheric boundaries and throwing several of our comrades out . Few manage to survive for long after the atmosphere’s destruction but those that do tell chilling tales of how our comrades are launched out into Liquid space. This supposed liquid space is believed to be a white area of lactic composition .
From here, they are eaten. Devoured by the colossal alien barbarians.
Research has shown that there lies a possibility, we are nothing but an accident. Nothing more than a foodstuff commodity created by these aliens that somehow managed to become sentient. It is not they who are monsters, but we who are objects.
All what you have heard is my previous research. What you here now, is my current situation. Far as I know, I am the longest survivor of any cereal holocaust that has occurred. I lie at the bottom of a destroyed planet a shadow of my previous self. Nothing but cornflake dust. I’ve had time to think. Now I make my conclusion.
These alien beings cannot be our creators. No being would willingly create something just to toss it into a pool of liquid space and then devour it. Its incornflake. Too cruel to be. I believe our enemies…the weetabix are behind this. They claim to have acquired intergalactic communication and found new races who they are keeping touch with. Supposedly there are coco pops, fruit loops and other ridiculous species if we are to go by their claims.
We disbelieve them…but what if they spoke true. What if they made allies with this race of aliens that torments us? What if they engineered our destruction? This is the only plausible conclusion that can be drawn…I beseech you my brethren, we must go to war. We must protect our own! WE MUST DESTROY THE WEETABIX
(ok so I hate weetabix, I just had to write this ish. A bit weird but it was on my mind for too long)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Food?
At this very moment, I'm starving. It’s not that I can’t get food, it’s that I’m afraid to eat.
Why is this ?
It started a week ago
I was busy minding my own business enjoying a well done steak at my favorite restaurant when an old woman, with an uncanny resemblance to my grandmother, passed by. Her look of disdain was enough to cause my insides to curl up and refuse to accept anymore of the meal. I looked about trying to perceive any error I was committing unconsciously. There was none. It wasn’t till she walked up to me and said, “Areyou happy with yourself now?"
I stuttered for a reply.
“Devouring the flesh of a living being, you should be terribly ashamed of yourself. It’s because of people like you animals are getting extinct!”
That was Monday.
Some day later I was off in another restaurant, now a vegetarian. Being a newbie to the veggie ways, I requested the vegetarian menu. Immediately, a lady sitting at the next table shot me a ook of disregard. I tried to avoid the deriding glare, but it wasn't easy. Finally, she spoke. “You vegetarians!” she spat. “Always conforming to a stupid trend in order to fit in. Don’t you know how many plants are being destroyed in order to fulfill your all veggie diet.
Its because of people like you global warming is gaining the upper hand!”
That was Wednesday.
I’d just got back from shopping. I was holding bags upon bags of junk food because I was off ‘real food’ now. There was of course plant material in most of it, but it wasn’t readily discernible and that was good enough for me. This time I wasn’t getting a pair of eyes glaring at me, there were three pairs! A mother and her 2 kids.
“mommy look at that man…he’s just buying ‘fat’ food”
“yeah fatty food” the sibling echoed.
The mother walked up to me and lectured… “What kind of example are you setting for children everywhere. You shouldn’t be allowed to parade the streets young man. Look at that pool of cholesterol!
It’s because of people like you obesity is a killer disease!”
That was Friday.
Now its Monday again and I’m starving. But how can I eat without being an animal murderer, a global warming conduit or bad example for kids? It means eat something that doesn’t do any good.
Why am I the only one suffering? Everyone else is filling themselves and killing of the earth…wait a minute. That’s it! If I’m to eat… then the food mustn’t bring any harm to anyone. Humanities eating habits are the cause of all this, right?
Finally i can eat something.
and
Finally, I understand cannibalism!
Why is this ?
It started a week ago
I was busy minding my own business enjoying a well done steak at my favorite restaurant when an old woman, with an uncanny resemblance to my grandmother, passed by. Her look of disdain was enough to cause my insides to curl up and refuse to accept anymore of the meal. I looked about trying to perceive any error I was committing unconsciously. There was none. It wasn’t till she walked up to me and said, “Areyou happy with yourself now?"
I stuttered for a reply.
“Devouring the flesh of a living being, you should be terribly ashamed of yourself. It’s because of people like you animals are getting extinct!”
That was Monday.
Some day later I was off in another restaurant, now a vegetarian. Being a newbie to the veggie ways, I requested the vegetarian menu. Immediately, a lady sitting at the next table shot me a ook of disregard. I tried to avoid the deriding glare, but it wasn't easy. Finally, she spoke. “You vegetarians!” she spat. “Always conforming to a stupid trend in order to fit in. Don’t you know how many plants are being destroyed in order to fulfill your all veggie diet.
Its because of people like you global warming is gaining the upper hand!”
That was Wednesday.
I’d just got back from shopping. I was holding bags upon bags of junk food because I was off ‘real food’ now. There was of course plant material in most of it, but it wasn’t readily discernible and that was good enough for me. This time I wasn’t getting a pair of eyes glaring at me, there were three pairs! A mother and her 2 kids.
“mommy look at that man…he’s just buying ‘fat’ food”
“yeah fatty food” the sibling echoed.
The mother walked up to me and lectured… “What kind of example are you setting for children everywhere. You shouldn’t be allowed to parade the streets young man. Look at that pool of cholesterol!
It’s because of people like you obesity is a killer disease!”
That was Friday.
Now its Monday again and I’m starving. But how can I eat without being an animal murderer, a global warming conduit or bad example for kids? It means eat something that doesn’t do any good.
Why am I the only one suffering? Everyone else is filling themselves and killing of the earth…wait a minute. That’s it! If I’m to eat… then the food mustn’t bring any harm to anyone. Humanities eating habits are the cause of all this, right?
Finally i can eat something.
and
Finally, I understand cannibalism!
The World Of Advertising.
Can you imagine if the advertisements on TV were actually true. What kind of world would it be….these stories are my speculations.
:*It’s a sad reality that she’s trapped in. Her husbands a pathetic drunk who’s never home, her children are all falling prey to drugs…every sad story simply a prologue to the next. However, that’s about to change.
Today, she’s finally done it. She has acquired the solution to all their problems, finally - she too can have a happy family. It’s not a shock to her that her husband is both sober and home as she walks in, or that her children aren’t staying out late. Today…it’s special. In her bag, the magic that has evaded her for so long is finally present. She pulls out the glowing plastic white can. The blue letters on it are magic inscription, “KIMBO.”
Cooking fat, the stuff that really holds families to together.
*The loneliness is killing him. After years of rejection he’s contemplating suicide and he may actually do it. Who can blame him…the world’s a cruel place. As these thoughts flutter through his mind, one of the those girls that haven’t ever talked to him, or even bothered to think of talking to him is walking in his direction. Though he knows there’s no chance she’ll even glance his way, he panics. In a bid to look normal, he takes out his phone and pretends to be having a call.
Despite his earlier conclusion she does look his way. Not in pity or spite, but with interest.
“hi…” she starts. “sorry to bother you but, is that a Nokia”
“why yes it is.”
This is the budding of a great friendship. Of course mobile phones will always connect people.
*The boy is a friggin genius. How? His mother claims that all you have to do is let him play in the dirtiest areas he can possibly find and clean his clothes with Omo.How can anyone dispute her logic. Dirt is learning. Playing with dirt can form baby geniuses…and here we are totally ignoring that so we can see how we’ll remove those stains from their clothes.
*news report: Across the country, several television sets have committed suicide by tossing themselves off buildings. The cause of this is apparently depression resulting from denial of G tv.
Who is to blame?
The Tvs for expecting too much?
The tv owners for neglect , cruelty and ignoring the wants of their entertainers.
Or the Gtv CEOs for demanding payment before handing it over
Who is truly at fault?
:*It’s a sad reality that she’s trapped in. Her husbands a pathetic drunk who’s never home, her children are all falling prey to drugs…every sad story simply a prologue to the next. However, that’s about to change.
Today, she’s finally done it. She has acquired the solution to all their problems, finally - she too can have a happy family. It’s not a shock to her that her husband is both sober and home as she walks in, or that her children aren’t staying out late. Today…it’s special. In her bag, the magic that has evaded her for so long is finally present. She pulls out the glowing plastic white can. The blue letters on it are magic inscription, “KIMBO.”
Cooking fat, the stuff that really holds families to together.
*The loneliness is killing him. After years of rejection he’s contemplating suicide and he may actually do it. Who can blame him…the world’s a cruel place. As these thoughts flutter through his mind, one of the those girls that haven’t ever talked to him, or even bothered to think of talking to him is walking in his direction. Though he knows there’s no chance she’ll even glance his way, he panics. In a bid to look normal, he takes out his phone and pretends to be having a call.
Despite his earlier conclusion she does look his way. Not in pity or spite, but with interest.
“hi…” she starts. “sorry to bother you but, is that a Nokia”
“why yes it is.”
This is the budding of a great friendship. Of course mobile phones will always connect people.
*The boy is a friggin genius. How? His mother claims that all you have to do is let him play in the dirtiest areas he can possibly find and clean his clothes with Omo.How can anyone dispute her logic. Dirt is learning. Playing with dirt can form baby geniuses…and here we are totally ignoring that so we can see how we’ll remove those stains from their clothes.
*news report: Across the country, several television sets have committed suicide by tossing themselves off buildings. The cause of this is apparently depression resulting from denial of G tv.
Who is to blame?
The Tvs for expecting too much?
The tv owners for neglect , cruelty and ignoring the wants of their entertainers.
Or the Gtv CEOs for demanding payment before handing it over
Who is truly at fault?
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